I decided to try and figure out what would happen if the characters in Homestuck decided to combine all their weapons into Dave's sword. This will probably be edited when Jade and Rose start to alchemise.
In case you don't know, it's a combination of the Half-blade, knitting needles with string, a rifle, and the WrinkleF*cker. And I threw the Timetables in there for convenience. It's got an extendable blade with red-hot edges that can cut like a hot sword through puppets. Yeah, I'm pretty sure Dave just won at everything.
edit: "FEAR NO ANVIL" incorporated
edit2: "THORNS OF OGLOGOTH" incorporated.